| A little over a month ago, I found myself back in | | | | records. So have someone find you a |
| the emergency room with my father-in-law. I am | | | | comfortable chair near the patient's bed and do |
| part of the sandwich generation, that age | | | | not switch off with family members until all the |
| between getting kids out of the nest to start | | | | tests are done and the doctor finally arrives with |
| their lives and helping parents in their later years | | | | a diagnosis. After the attending physician tells you |
| to live their lives with some grace and comfort. | | | | what the diagnosis is, if all the symptoms are not |
| Powers of attorney (POA) for health care for my | | | | addressed, ask him/her questions. You may need |
| mother and my father-in-law have fallen squarely | | | | those answers to make informed decisions. You |
| in my court. | | | | could be there for a long time. |
| Being an advocate for a senior requires more | | | | Important Point #3: If the patient is admitted to |
| than making doctor appointments and helping to | | | | the hospital from the emergency room, make |
| ensure the senior makes it to the appointment. | | | | sure that the hospital staff knows you are to be |
| That is the simple part. Some seniors may not | | | | informed of any change in the status or care of |
| want to press doctors regarding their care | | | | the senior and be sure to put a telephone number |
| because they are afraid they will be punished by | | | | in the records where you can be reached 24/7. If |
| not getting the care they need. Doctors may be | | | | there are to be any changes in rooms or any |
| so busy that they will sometimes miss crucial | | | | invasive procedures done, especially at bedside, |
| issues on the charts in front of them or may | | | | you want to be informed. |
| accept non-committal answers from a senior | | | | (I was horrified to arrive at the hospital one |
| scared to death of hospitals and ending up in a | | | | morning to find that my mother was placed in a |
| nursing home and not look deeper for the | | | | room with two other patients overnight while |
| underlying cause of health issues. | | | | preparing for a colonoscopy, meaning she had to |
| This is written not to disparage the health care | | | | walk past the other patients all night to go to and |
| professionals who care for seniors. However it | | | | from the bathroom as the detergent she was |
| helps the doctor to know someone is with the | | | | given to drink cleaned out her system. In addition, |
| senior who cares enough to know their medical | | | | the staff planned on having the colonoscopy |
| history and to ask questions about problems they | | | | performed bedside with only a curtain between |
| are experiencing. Of course, the trick is to leave | | | | them and the other patients' beds. I made sure |
| the dignity of the senior intact by first letting | | | | my mother was moved to a room that had no |
| them provide as much information to the doctor | | | | other patients in it while the procedure was |
| as they are willing or able to supply and to ask as | | | | performed. But she needed me as an advocate |
| many questions as occur to them. | | | | to take care of her dignity.) |
| Important Point #1: If you, as an advocate, have | | | | Not all the duties should fall on the family member |
| POA over health care, you should keep copies | | | | who has POA. At this point, our family emails |
| handy, even scanned into your computer (both at | | | | back and forth about post hospital care, how Dad |
| home and at work), so that if you end up in an | | | | is responding to physical therapy, who will take |
| emergency room situation, you can print a copy | | | | Dad for routine labs (not quite as crucial as the |
| before leaving home or work to provide the | | | | results, unless the technician finds something |
| hospital. Health care professionals are bound by | | | | immediately that becomes an emergency |
| privacy laws that restrict their ability to discuss a | | | | situation) and what to do about Dad's 91st |
| patient's health with anyone but the patient, | | | | birthday. We, as a family, are quick to update one |
| spouse, or the person the patient has designated | | | | another on health issues related to the senior |
| by power of attorney over health care matters. | | | | members of the family. |
| Having a copy of a POA over Health Care in your | | | | Important Point #4: For serious and critical |
| possession to place in the medical records which | | | | illnesses or for long distance caregivers, there are |
| designates you as having POA ensures that all | | | | professional advocates who can be consulted. |
| health care professionals who work with your | | | | Many can be found simply by doing an internet |
| parent/in-law/friend will answer your questions | | | | search using the words senior advocacy. |
| about the patient's care even if they have to tell | | | | If you are a member of the sandwich generation, |
| you that they do not yet know the answer to | | | | looking for further advice, I suggest doing an |
| your questions. | | | | internet search for articles by Gail Sheehy on |
| Important Point #2: If you end up taking a senior | | | | caregiving. The most important point she makes |
| to the emergency room as I did my father-in-law, | | | | in her articles is that caregivers need to take care |
| be prepared for a long stay. As the advocate for | | | | of themselves. It will not help either you or your |
| the patient, you will need to be on hand for the | | | | loved ones if you are constantly drained |
| history taking process to point out previous | | | | emotionally and physically. Learn to pace yourself |
| hospitalizations, recent illnesses and to do so for | | | | and to enjoy life's milestones for yourself and for |
| each nurse/doctor/lab tech who comes to the | | | | the seniors you love. Right now, I am looking |
| patient's bed. All the bottles of medications that | | | | forward to my mother's 80th birthday and hoping |
| the patient takes should be gathered and kept | | | | to have her to cherish for many years to come. |
| with you in a plastic bag for entering into hospital | | | | Live long, Mom, and prosper. |