| Recently, Santa Claus made a rather unfortunate | | | | something that Santa Claus Corporation would |
| announcement. Several of the reindeer have | | | | never do," said Mrs. Claus. |
| perished due to eating poisonous pet food. | | | | We are trying to get our backup reindeer team in |
| Dasher, Comet, and Blitzen are no longer with us | | | | shape to handle the Christmas mission. Rudolph, |
| and Dancer is in a comatose state, at the local | | | | who only eats tater tots and pop tarts was |
| hospital. "The health care costs are enormous, and | | | | unaffected by the poisonous pet food, but now |
| we're not sure we can save him. Currently he is | | | | he's gone into severe depression due to the |
| on life support, and we are all praying for him," | | | | demise of the teams top performers. Rudolph the |
| said the corporate communications lady. | | | | Red Nosed Reindeer said; "our best athletes of |
| "We were trying to save money on the high | | | | our team, were also the ones who ate the most |
| protein pet food from China, because our reindeer | | | | food, and therefore they were the most |
| need lots of protein to fly tens of thousands of | | | | poisoned, I think it's just terrible, and I've been |
| miles on December 25 every year delivering toys | | | | sick to my stomach ever since." |
| throughout the world," stated the CFO of Santa | | | | Several of the polar bears also got very sick, but |
| Claus Inc. "We had no idea we had purchased | | | | they have all recovered. "We just hope we can |
| poisonous food, but, now it doesn't surprise us | | | | put all this behind us now, and work hard towards |
| because we also learned that the Chinese were | | | | the future, there is nothing we can do, or say to |
| painting toys for kids with lead based paint, | | | | bring them back," said Santa. |