| I was tidying up the books beside our bed | | | | nothing to foster self-esteem and social skills. |
| recently and saw a book my husband Tom was | | | | Tom's sociopathic boss is neurotic about paper |
| reading: "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha | | | | work and seems to think that this is the most |
| Stoudt, Ph.D. | | | | important part of the education of these |
| I remembered reading that book several years | | | | students. |
| ago during a particularly traumatic time I was | | | | She also has no concept of good nutrition. If a |
| experiencing with my boss. | | | | child behaves, this woman believes in rewarding |
| Sure enough, Tom was grappling with a boss who | | | | them with candy and a soda. |
| was singling him out for public ridicule. | | | | Then she takes away their activity period after |
| Over my twenty three work history, I had three | | | | they go bonkers on the sugar. |
| bosses who seemed to be insane. After dealing | | | | Why do people like this have zero common |
| repeatedly with their psychotic behavior, | | | | sense? |
| screaming and yelling at me and others in front of | | | | Why do people like us have to endure their |
| patients, or pulling me into their office for some | | | | stupidity and insanity? |
| sort of half baked improvement plan strategy, I | | | | Besides the fact that difficult people can be the |
| know now, in retrospect, that all three of these | | | | catalyst for spiritual growth! |
| people were and maybe still are--sociopaths. | | | | Business, Health Care and Education are all |
| I have a theory. The brilliant books on Emotional | | | | dictated to by Corporate powers here in America. |
| and Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, have | | | | The lack of empathy that trickles down from the |
| created a backlash in the workplace at large here | | | | very top where the bottom line is always about |
| in America. | | | | money, is what teachers, nurses, law |
| These books explain the necessity for respect, | | | | enforcement and business people must face on |
| camaraderie and a social/emotional IQ that people | | | | the front lines. |
| can develop, if they are so motivated. | | | | But what if every leader saw their employees as |
| When the books first came out, I thought they | | | | their customers? And these customers are to be |
| would transform the workplace with great change | | | | served, loved and understood? |
| towards a new paradigm of workplace liberation. | | | | Studies show that bosses who listen and |
| I thought these books would single handedly help | | | | empathize with their employees have a |
| people to transform their perspective and help | | | | harmonious work force where retention is |
| them to at least become more aware of who | | | | achieved because people want to be there and |
| they are in this life time. | | | | actually want to show up!! |
| While buying Goleman's latest book, "Social | | | | Bosses who create a resonance between |
| Intelligence," copyright 2006, last week at | | | | themselves and their employees are successful |
| Border's, I asked the gentleman helping me to find | | | | leaders. A give and take is created whereby |
| the book, what he thought of my theory: that | | | | when difficult situations arise, the team comes |
| the Emotional Intelligence books have created a | | | | together to solve the problem. |
| workplace environment that can only be described | | | | Studies show that when people like the boss, |
| as backlash directly because of the ideas | | | | productivity rises and so does the time a person |
| presented in the books. | | | | stays on the job. |
| The Border's employee agreed with my | | | | Goleman says that "people don't want to work |
| assessment. We got into a spirited discussion | | | | for a toxic boss at any wage except to save |
| about his experience as an educator. | | | | enough "screw you" money to quit with security. |
| He said that fifteen years ago, he was a public | | | | "Socially intelligent leadership starts with being fully |
| school administrator with freedom to implement | | | | present and getting in sync. Once a leader is |
| programs that were good for the children, helping | | | | engaged, then the full panoply of social intelligence |
| them to think, puzzle through solutions to | | | | can come into play, from sensing how people feel |
| problems, and fostering artistic expression. | | | | and why, to interacting smoothly enough to move |
| As time went on, the "higher ups" put a stop to | | | | people into a positive state." |
| many of the programs that he personally helped | | | | The dysfunctional bosses I once had and Tom |
| to start. | | | | now has resorts to yelling and screaming, |
| He said that by the time he retired from the | | | | throwing papers and eye rolling to show disdain |
| Public School system, and I'm sure "no child left | | | | and frustration. |
| behind" was a contributing factor, the schools | | | | These toxic emotions are contagious. |
| were at best factories, at worst prisons, that | | | | So are the positive emotions elicited from |
| suppressed creativity and innovation among the | | | | respect, civility and kindness. |
| students. | | | | Camaraderie and harmony in the workplace is |
| My husband, Tom, works in Alternative Education, | | | | what I have always strived for. When it falters, |
| or Alt Ed. He tells me that the children are fed the | | | | as it has for Tom, and at times for me, and |
| same dry and unimaginative lessons plans year | | | | obvious abuse is dolled out everyday to teachers, |
| after year which they can't comprehend, due to | | | | or nurses and whom ever else, then I say, file a |
| their learning disabilities. | | | | grievance. |
| Tom tells me that these lesson plans are an | | | | And send these people back to the Psychiatric |
| extreme example of lack of creativity which does | | | | Hospital where they belong. |