| Deborah Slappey Pitts is the author of "Booking | | | | newspaper, radio, and at book events I talk about |
| Matters" and the award winning "I Feel Okay." She | | | | how "Shadow Living" steps away from the crowd |
| is a native of Americus, Georgia, and today she | | | | to become a "close-up" and personal dialogue |
| travels the country as an inspirational speaker. | | | | between a suffering widow who has lost her |
| Pitts is a member of the Church of Christ and is | | | | loving husband to death. People feel my pain, at |
| affiliated with the Christian Writer's Institute, PMA, | | | | least that's what they've told me in my reviews |
| the Independent Publishers Association, and SPAN | | | | and face-to-face conversations. |
| (Small Publishers Association of North America). | | | | One particular reviewer said that she felt as |
| Deborah has two sons, Clyde Daryl and Alex | | | | though she were in the room with me as I |
| Keith, and resides in Columbus, Georgia, with her | | | | screamed out in pain and agony-wanting |
| husband, Marshall Pitts. | | | | desperately to see my husband again. "Shadow |
| Tyler: Thank you for joining me today, Deborah. | | | | Living" makes the grieving process real. It's in your |
| I'm glad to have the opportunity to talk to you | | | | face. The reader feels what I feel. I found that |
| about your new book on the important topic of | | | | the other books were lacking the personal touch. |
| grief. To begin, will you tell us about your personal | | | | And I have reviewed many. "Shadow Living" is |
| grief experience and why you decided to write | | | | more than words-it's about living and feeling and |
| this book? | | | | hurting and screaming, and finally the spirit being |
| Deborah: I certainly will. I hadn't planned on writing | | | | slowly calmed by my husband's voice and even |
| my story about my first year dealing with the | | | | by listening to comforting words by our Creator. I |
| pains of grief, but something inside of me was | | | | believe that's why "Shadow Living...Paintings of |
| saying "you need to tell the whole story-your | | | | Grief" stands out among the rest of grief books. |
| intimate account of grief so you can help others | | | | This is the difference. |
| along the way." That's why I decided to go ahead | | | | Tyler: Deborah, of the books about grief I've |
| and write "Shadow Living." Other folks who had | | | | read, many of them include activities for a person |
| read "I Feel Okay" urged me to tell my story, and | | | | to do to overcome their grief? Were there any |
| just as I had helped millions by providing | | | | types of activities you found helpful, and do you |
| information about the deadly amyloidosis disease, | | | | include any in "Shadow Living"? |
| I could perhaps, help others by providing | | | | Deborah: I found several activities to be helpful |
| information about grief and grieving through my | | | | and I share them with my readers in a flyer that |
| personal story. | | | | I created entitled, "Thoughts on Grieving." For |
| Tyler: Since "Shadow Living" is a type of sequel to | | | | example, one of the things that I found very |
| "I Feel Okay" will you tell us a little about that | | | | helpful was to rearrange my bedroom. Someone |
| book? Does the reader need to read "I Feel | | | | had told me to try this and I just shrugged it off |
| Okay" before reading "Shadow Living"? | | | | for a time, but when I did it, I felt better-more |
| Deborah: I've been told that "I Feel Okay" is a | | | | independent and with a renewed commitment |
| love story as Clyde and I traveled across the | | | | that I could work through my grief with God's |
| United States hoping to find someone who would | | | | help. I also suggest to grievers to do something |
| help him find a cure to the deadly disease. We did | | | | special for themselves, such as going shopping |
| find a physician and a hospital-the Mayo Clinic and | | | | and buying something special just for them. Of |
| they did everything that they could do to save | | | | course, you have to gauge your budget with this |
| Clyde, but he died two weeks prior to receiving a | | | | one, but it's a good stress reliever. |
| life-saving heart transplant. No, the reader doesn't | | | | I also discussed in my book about writing your |
| have to read "I Feel Okay" first-they can read | | | | thoughts in a journal. I've included this tip on my |
| "Shadow Living," and perhaps, if they want more | | | | list of "Thoughts on Grieving." I chose to write my |
| specific details about Clyde and our journey, they | | | | husband a poem for our wedding anniversary and |
| can go back and read "I Feel Okay." | | | | I drove to the cemetery and read it to him. This |
| Tyler: Your husband died of primary amyloidosis. | | | | was a tremendous release of emotions for me as |
| Would you tell us a bit about what primary | | | | I told Clyde how I felt about our wedding |
| amyloidosis is? Did that type of death make his | | | | anniversary and his physical absence. I also |
| loss more difficult for you? | | | | suggest to grievers to eat good, nutritious meals; |
| Deborah: Primary amyloidosis is a disease of the | | | | even take multivitamins and minerals if you are |
| immune system that affects eight in a million | | | | able. And without a doubt, I suggest to the |
| people annually. As I told Irene while interviewing | | | | griever to seek out a physician, especially if you |
| with her for "I Feel Okay," primary amyloidosis | | | | begin to develop health issues. |
| forms in the bone marrow and is caused by the | | | | Finally, I suggest to grievers to reach out and help |
| abnormal accumulation of protein fibrils in organ | | | | others who are in need as they journey though |
| and body tissues. The proteins are small | | | | their stages of grief. I've listed some of my |
| fragments of antibody molecules that are | | | | thoughts on grieving and there are several others |
| normally present in the body, giving needed | | | | that I believe will be very helpful. |
| protection against infectious agents and bacteria in | | | | Tyler: Deborah, I have heard grief therapists talk |
| the body. However, in primary amyloidosis a | | | | about how grief relates to all losses in our lives, |
| defect occurs in the immune system where | | | | not just death. Do you think your book would help |
| excessive amounts of antibody molecules are | | | | people undergoing losses such as divorces, |
| produced and deposited in the organs and tissues. | | | | financial losses, or job losses? |
| As the molecules continue to enlarge in the | | | | Deborah: Yes, "Shadow Living" is touching souls |
| organs or body tissues, they begin to interfere | | | | around the U.S. and perhaps globally now since its |
| with normal body functions causing kidney failure, | | | | release in September 2007. I had a reviewer |
| loss of sensation, heart failure, and even death. | | | | state that "Shadow Living" is not only an excellent |
| This is what happened to Clyde. Amyloidosis | | | | source of information and comfort to those who |
| affects both men and women of every ethnic | | | | have lost a loved one, but also to others who are |
| origin, but the majority of the cases have been | | | | going through a divorce or other terrible |
| diagnosed in men. | | | | experience in their lives. Believe me, if I could learn |
| Tyler: Did you find being a widow at age | | | | to live again after my husband's death others can |
| forty-one extremely difficult? Do you think it | | | | learn to go on after a divorce or any financial loss. |
| would have been easier if your husband had lived | | | | You still have your health, and if you are a |
| into old age? | | | | religious person, you still have your loving Father |
| Deborah: I believe that becoming a widow at any | | | | and Jesus Christ. And that's a beautiful thing. It's |
| age is extremely difficult, but perhaps even more | | | | priceless! |
| so at a younger age. Rather would it have been | | | | Tyler: Tell us a little bit about your inspirational |
| easier for Clyde to struggle with the disease into | | | | speaking on grief and amyloidosis. Did you find it |
| old age-is a question I often ponder. I can only | | | | difficult to share your story in such a personal and |
| speculate that Clyde would have hated to be | | | | public way? |
| confined by a disease of this caliber-one that he | | | | Deborah: When I'm invited to an event whether |
| didn't know at first how even to pronounce or | | | | face-to-face or via teleconference my goal is to |
| spell. | | | | tell my story of loss and survival and then to |
| Physicians know much more about the amyloid | | | | walk them through the stages of the grieving |
| diseases now 12 years later. The disease can be | | | | process. Through my own experiences others |
| managed, but it is extremely volatile. New | | | | learn that they too can move on to experience a |
| medicines are being formulated to help combat | | | | beautiful life again. It might not be exactly what |
| the debilitating effects of the disease, but | | | | you would have wanted it to be (without your |
| researchers still have a long way to go with this | | | | loved one) but life is still beautiful and we honor |
| disease. I still receive emails from across the | | | | our loved ones by learning to live again and to |
| globe as patients and caregivers do their very | | | | reach for the stars in our hearts and appreciate |
| best to stay ahead of the amyloidosis nuances, | | | | the sun's warming rays against our skin. |
| but at best, it's still a challenging ordeal. | | | | Through talking about my experiences with |
| Tyler: Deborah, in "Shadow Living," you talked | | | | others, I have learned to heal and to appreciate |
| about how grief can also affect a person's health. | | | | my experiences in knowing that God knows best, |
| Will you tell us about your own experience with | | | | beyond my pitiful comprehension. I've learned to |
| health issues? | | | | heal by helping others, and so I encourage my |
| Deborah: Researchers are on the forefront these | | | | audience and readers to reach out and help |
| days as they learn more about the stressing | | | | someone else in need. In the end, that's why |
| effects of grief. You hear all the time about older | | | | we're here-to love and to help each other. |
| couples being married for fifty years-one dies and | | | | Tyler: Do you feel people's understanding of grief |
| within a year or so the other spouse succumbs | | | | has changed in recent years because of all the |
| to death as well. Grief definitely has a tremendous | | | | books and attention to grief. Has the grieving |
| impact on a person's health. | | | | process changed or do you see it as changing? |
| During my first three years of grieving, I suffered | | | | Deborah: I believe that discussions about grief and |
| from tremendous headaches, stomach pains, and | | | | grieving are finally coming out of the closet. Most |
| even chest pains. I visited my cardiologist on | | | | people prefer not to talk about their pain; |
| several occasions, thinking I was experiencing a | | | | however, I chose to discuss my personal bout |
| heart attack. I learned later that during the | | | | with grief because I felt my experience would |
| grieving process you manifest some of the | | | | help people in the same situation or any other |
| identical pains of your loved one and you think | | | | crises in their lives. My personal writing about |
| that you're going to die as well. My heart throbbed | | | | grieving was two fold-to help me better |
| in pain, but it was grievous pain-the pain of losing | | | | understand my grieving process and to share my |
| my husband to death. | | | | thoughts in an attempt to help others. |
| Tyler: I understand the book also gives an update | | | | With individual and group therapies more readily |
| on amyloidosis. Is the disease better understood | | | | available in recent years, many people are |
| now? Is there anything special you would tell | | | | beginning to reach out for a helping hand and |
| people dealing with losing a loved one to this | | | | that's a good thing. Recently, I participated in an |
| disease to help them through the grief process? | | | | online book talk and spoke about grief and |
| Deborah: Yes, the researchers at Mayo Clinic in | | | | grieving quite extensively. Many discussed openly |
| Rochester, MN and Boston Medical Hospital, | | | | their losses and it was very inspirational to hear |
| Boston are continuing to be on the forefront with | | | | so many people finally beginning to talk about their |
| learning more about the disease and exposing it | | | | grief after many years. I'm thankful that I have |
| to the world. Now twelve years later, numerous | | | | played some part in opening this dialogue. It needs |
| research hospitals are currently doing research on | | | | to stay open. Grief is out of the closet. |
| the menacing disease. Some thirty-five different | | | | Tyler: Deborah, what does your future hold for |
| types of amyloidosis have been identified and | | | | you? Do you have plans to write any more books |
| that's a great thing. | | | | or are there other ways you want to express |
| I receive emails from Australia, the United | | | | your message of overcoming grief? |
| Kingdom, and France. The communication about | | | | Deborah: If you would have told me that I would |
| amyloidoisis has become global. Even several | | | | be the author of two books, describing my |
| episodes of the hit series "House" are talking | | | | family's pain and agony of death and learning to |
| about amyloidosis. So, the word is definitely | | | | live again some twelve years ago, I would have |
| spreading about amyloidosis and that makes me | | | | said that you were dreaming. But the reality is |
| smile. And I know Clyde would have been | | | | sober. I am learning every day to live and |
| gloriously happy about that. | | | | appreciate the beauty of God's green earth and |
| Tyler: Deborah, please tell us a little bit about the | | | | His blessings for all. Once I had written "I Feel |
| stages of the grieving process described in the | | | | Okay," I thought that my job was done, but I |
| book? | | | | was grossly mistaken. I am now writing my third |
| Deborah: I pondered about the best way to tell | | | | book-a nonfiction work of short stories about |
| my story. Would I journalize it or would it be best | | | | growing up with my brothers and sisters in the |
| for me to talk about it as I experienced the | | | | late 50s and 60s. I am having a ball writing the |
| stages of the grieving process. I chose to do the | | | | stories and recounting the special moments that |
| latter, describing how I felt as I learned to live as | | | | shaped our values, our hopes, our lives. It will be |
| a widow during my first year. | | | | released in late 2008. |
| There are many experts-psychologists and | | | | Also, I continue to speak with groups about grief |
| psychiatrists who talk about grieving-the various | | | | and grieving and share my personal story and |
| stages of grieving and how a person should be | | | | thoughts on grieving-providing tips on the griever's |
| feeling. I chose to describe my experience using | | | | journey. I speak one-on-one with people and try |
| seven stages of the grieving process and I | | | | to make myself available when they just want to |
| describe a stage or stages within each chapter. | | | | talk and need someone to listen. I also participate |
| The seven stages that I identified are shock, | | | | in panel discussions and have plans in 2008 to be |
| denial, anger, bargaining, fear, depression, and | | | | a participant at a hospice event. I also speak |
| acknowledgment. It should be noted that | | | | about grief and grieving on radio and television. |
| everyone will grieve differently and perhaps won't | | | | This is a continuous process and I want to do |
| follow all of the seven stages that I have | | | | whatever I can to help others on their journey to |
| identified in "Shadow Living...Paintings of Grief," but | | | | find solace once again in their lives. |
| these seven are typical. It doesn't necessarily | | | | Tyler: Thank you for joining me today, Deborah. |
| mean that a person will follow each phase in | | | | Before we go, will you let our readers know your |
| succession either. | | | | website address and what additional information |
| I went back and forth several times with anger, | | | | they may find there? |
| denial, and even depression before I finally arrived | | | | Deborah: My website address is dslappeypitts.com, |
| at acknowledging the fact that my husband was | | | | my email is , and myspace page is |
| gone from this earth and wasn't coming back. I | | | | myspace.com\deborahslappeypitts. I definitely |
| had to learn to appreciate the beautiful | | | | would welcome your comments and thoughts. My |
| twenty-one years that we had together as man | | | | books can be purchased at all booksellers. |
| and wife and father of our children. I'm thankful to | | | | I appreciate your wonderful support as I continue |
| God for giving me a beautiful jewel of His to love | | | | my journey to help others in distress and to |
| and to cherish forever. | | | | make a positive difference in a person's life. Please |
| Tyler: Many other books have previously been | | | | enjoy the holidays with family and friends and |
| written about the grieving process. What makes | | | | learn to live again. Thank you so much and grace |
| "Shadow Living" stand out from other books? | | | | and peace to all of you. |
| Deborah: When I'm talking about my book to | | | | |